Wishful thinking

March 20, 2018

I wish I could tell you the truth,

Whole truth, nothing polished or skipped,

And know that you’d hear my words

And see the abyss I have leaped

 

 

I wish I could show you my love

Before it got wrecked by your hand

And know you’d envision the path,

The life that we maybe could have.

 

 

I mourn all the dreams that have died

The warmth that was lost in your ice,

I wish I could have them revived,

But that’s just one more layer of lies.

 

They are dead, all is dead, all is gone

And yet you’re here at my gate,

With no understanding what’s wrong,

No clue that you might be too late

 

The credit of patience is through,

Despite all your moves to repair:

I just don’t believe they are true,

And mostly I simply don’t care

 

I simply don’t care for your hooks,

And tricks, and you puppeteer turns,

And deeply displeased heavy looks

That used to turn me into stone

 

I really don’t want to cause pain,

But, sadly, that cannot be helped,

And so, I excuse the delay

By talking myself through the steps

 

How tenderness makes it ok

As long as you take it as true,

As long as I smile through the pain

Of choosing between me and you

 

One day this suspension will end,

No matter how long it will stay,

We will have to bury these dead

And go our separate ways.

 

I wish I could openly speak,

And say all of this to your eyes,

But now I’m a coward, I’m weak,

And so, I stay silent and smile.

 

03/19/2018

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